It’s a chuckhole in life when a parent may only watch and wait out a child’s pain. It’s happened again my unable to take hat pain away from our child. While we grieved the expected losses of our parents, that was different. They’d lived their lives giving and preparing us for ours. But a child at whatever age is still a baby to a parent. Case in point, my Mom gone forty years, once more I’d like to hear her speak out to me, “My baby.” Can’t be helped there are situations we may never outgrow.
The simplest explanation I’d ever heard to the my questioned “Why?“ from a great grandfather, he had said, “After we have given you your parents, we must die to make room for you your children.” I wish there were as simple an explanation for our children’s sufferings. Thus I guess is the times given for some lives lived. I know this doesn’t lessen the pain in lives’ left to go on.
A few years back on the I-Net I read the words of one individual tagged “IDF.” Our lives so paralleled each other’s I knew and felt his every word. While he and his wife didn’t raise my numbers of children the descriptions those of his own read like mine. There were ambitions, learned good work ethics on one good side his hand; and, then the bad other side it consisted of petty larcenists, pot heads, knar do wells, laziest’s living off the dole. There were good marriages and a bad. The bad included everything included the bad other side description. Ho boy, have I got one of those, and openly blatant about it. My numbers doubling IDF’s own, that’s the way it has worked for us/myself. IDF sadly has already passed on not to witness his families further degradations‘. Me however have been blessed with an extended life span to perhaps witness some my issue going before me. Is this a blessing or a punishment?
It were an almost continuous roll of thunder and lightening over Shorthorn country all night long. Still nursing my left paw. It is healing nicely. My thinking it is dragging on, it is most likely doing better than my patience can tolerate. Such is my life in the fast lane. My fast lane is walking it at eight mph anymore, my not raising to much dust at that either.
Unable to procrastinate any further into the day one of the first things I did was check the rainfall amounts poured over Shorthorn country the last 24 hours. We had received at least four and a half full inches rain water. The Goober Creek flowing through the Shorthorn barnyard is over its banks in the drive’s ford.
As the day nearer’s coming to a close, my left paw has healed some more today. I’ve managed to avoid hitting anything paining with it nor experience any heavy pained hand washing moves.
The doors closed, staying in out of the heat I’ve spent some time on the internet looking for some switches and relays for making fix an old GE low voltage house wiring system I had put into the Honeymoon cottage close to some fifty years ago.
Worst part of the day has had my mind dwelling upon my son’s illness. While I can’t help loving him, I’m still aggravated with his lifestyle that has brought him to this trying stage in his life. Whatever happens, it continues to sicken me, he’s brought it all upon himself. I got to get out of this. BGKC.