I’m seriously thinking taking up hating phones, all phones, landline and cell phones. There I was completely prepared for bed. He twilight zone is near upon us, my landline rings. “You need to grind tomorrow. And oh, a fence is down out back perhaps since last Saturday. Everybody knows I’m without wheels including the Cushman’s down. I checked the Cushman’s oil level. It’s up. I chance it, will she blow up, burn up, I didn’t care all that expected walking was going to be to much, and the troops damned well know it; yet, we’re going for a drive.
Driving along closing the distances my arrival on the scene, all the ladies are out. Checking the fence was gone, I mean gone-gone. Okay, my turn to get on the cell. So pissed, inspite my mind altering drugs taken I was hot more liking really pissed off. I chewed some ass. Voice on other end of the cell airline, “I’ll look into this.” What to do? I started my round up alone knowing full well these ladies are smart enough to out flank me at every turn. And they did.
I was getting nowhere as I knew these girls knew how to play me. Did I have a ball bat? I thought I remembered one. I stopped walked about the Cushman and luckily saw a yellow glint of reflected light off the child’s plastic ball bat.
Weaponed I charged into the about to happen one cattleman’s self perpetuated fray. I went for the furthest one out showing her my risen temper. The plastic ball bat wheel in the air via my left hand I slapped the Cushman’s left front rubber belt made fender, “Crack!” She heard the percussion message and turned into the direction I’d accept. One small success I head ed fr the other end this spread out mob and again slapped that fender bring up another resounding, “Crack!” I had some of their attention‘s. The in betweens non moving I drove the Cushman straight into them making a couple connections upon a couple fat asses, I meant business. Know I had all their attentions. And, just as I suspected, whatever head way I had made earlier heading them for home was lost as they had out flanked me wheeling the whole lot of themselves right back out from where I had originally started to move them off from. My 30 some year old alfalfa field. Left to the ladies they’d have it totally destroyed in only days. (I was Grrrrrr mad) The Cushman again answered my pedaled call for speed heading them off my adding in some well voice displeasure in their behavior’s a number of times along with the beating Cushman’s fender and a couple swinging derriere’s.
Looking good for a few moments I had them moving home…. That was until a leader cut off to the left walking into a semi wooded watery area the Cushman couldn’t go. This act had my deposition seriously slipping. Abandoning the Cushman, with the yeller bat in hand I charged into the mixed stew wood beating tree trunks, stumps and windfalls. I even connected on the bull’s lazy ass. If he was going to give me trouble the way I went after him, he wasn’t big enough and moved on towards home as I wanted.
My thinking I had them on the move, they started the immediate last trick all over again going right into a smaller swale hole just yearly wet enough it has remained unharvestable all the years I been here. They knew I couldn’t/wouldn’t drive in to it. The Cushman driven only a comparable long city block I was on foot again. I was going in after them even if I’d have to call a wreaker to pull me out of my bare footen boots. I was hot after them. This time I had them. No more hiding places. No more evading snags, They’d resigned themselves as to who was the number one outnumbering boss right behind the eighty of them and headed for home. When they had reached the lane I closed it. At the same time I see and hear the troops coming. They had it timed right, I had them rounded up and all home. Then came the classic question, “You’ve got the fence fixed.” Some of the walking having cooled me some that question raised my ire all over again, “What fence?” I had asked, tell‘im, “It’s gone. There’s nothen to fix…!” Me, mad as Hell the troops left before I got all over them.
Some time later darker than dark, I get apologetic phone calls. I was also informed carb for Ugly be back sometime today. It’s imperative I fix Cushman. And, I may get some help. Yeah, fat chance!
Now I’ve got to find a tractor to loosen and a trailer to empty and pickup an empty gravity box for a feed grinding. I doubt I catch cold today either!
No wheels for the road everything either laid up or still down. It was the WD45, the unloaded wood hauler, and myself were on the road again this day. Down the road I picked up the empty feed wagon, detoured for the elevator’s fixings and returning home received a go grocery shopping invitation along the way. (smile) No ordinary dummy, that invitation sounded like a good idea. I accepted the ride in that air conditioned car. We did need milk and Frieda was out-a something.
Gone only an hour yet back home to soon for lunch I forced myself. What’s a half hour between meal bites? Then I was off to snake the Leland tractor with it in tow grinder-mixer around the lazy monumented Ugly truck resting its front feet in the dry creek bed. Of course if I can swing the combined units within the reduced barnyard limits I might just make the machine’s trip the long way around the yards. (Why Me?) And oh, My Dumpy truck parts hadn’t arrived yet as well. (why oh why me?)
Havin’ taken the machinery around the barn, all's set up while I were doing this including the grind, the Dumpy brake caliper and the Ugly carb arrived. Needing a cool drink I made me a double iced tea, plus another a bit of time later. Sitting down for a few I’m just as soaken wet as if I had just come out of a sauna and then disappointedly wished the Winter’s snow hadn’t melted.
Goofy arsed TV news personalities are hawking air-conditioners as a necessity to life’s living. (Where from are they getting their kickbacks?) And, then there’s innumerable numbers of invitations for seniors to gather here’r’there until closing to take in the comforting or life saving air-conditioning until closing time. Whoppee! As if I’m going to go for that, and get thrown out into the evening heat. I’m not gonna ask how dumb go I look. Shut up, as if some smart-ass likely has an opinion….. Pucker-up! Yea-who! Pucker up!
If there’s anything I hate is beeing in anything other than the good mood I’m in rat now. Now need when I go hardware store to purchase another terlit grinder. Ours broke this morning. Hard telling when I’ll be going that-a-way.
Spent my afternoon in shop until my mind fizzled out with the heat. Thankfully I lasted longer today. I suffered no oatmeal brain mushing today as I spent most my time still taking dumpy truck apart. Going through saved truck parts in the pigeon holes on the shop’s back wall I found replacement brake pads Unable to take left side brake lines apart I feel a mad-on coming by morning when I’ll give them Hell tomorrow with a nasty hammer. Tain’t got enough room for swinging a BFH*. A nasty hammer will have to do. Hmmm, perhaps that ¾” x 12” cold chisel will be seen as to what it can do again.
When clock had rolled around beyond my usual rattlers’ time I was more than ready to call it quits. Besides I’d more than enough to keep me busy here at home for a couple more hours. Put fixed carb back on Ugly, move Ugly to open the driveway, unload wood hauler (loaded down with tools, leftover supplements, and a brake caliper core), and park that combined tractor unit out of my way also, and more. Need check Cushman oil level for another pasture’s fence check and let the ladies out on it. I later let this want slide. The ladies were happy for the moment and as I was seeing it as a rest’s blessing for an evening’s closure. Top of tomorrow’s to do list. Great, I’ll be fresher then and this task will be a a shortened one.
Hot again today it was some easier to take than yesterday. While the heat tired me, I lasted a lot longer today. At least I managed to keep my senses going for me. I only had one mental disorder having to go back for one tool twice before I had gotten it right in my hands. (a long low moan nicely fits here) & (grin)
*BFH: Big Folking Hammer …. A folking hammer is either an 8, 10, or 12 pounder the likes Dad showed me how to swing during my youth. A real honest to goodness old folk’s hammer. (grin)